Friday night found me walking through the park at night with the Soulmate.
In an effort to push aside my fear of the dark, my fear of the noises my mind conjures and my fear of how many other women the Soulmate has on speed dial, I pushed my side against his side and linked my arm with his.
Extra benefit: sexiness!
My fingers lightly cupped his arm, just underneath the hem of his short-sleeved shirt.
Maybe we were chatting idly about nothing at all or maybe we weren't chatting at all. I can't remember anymore. All I remember are the visceral feelings and sensations I experienced from being so close to him.
Whichever it was, chatting or silence, my mind wandered and I stopped walking. He stopped when his arm in motion strained against my arm in rest.
An object in motion will come to rest, if the object in rest is stubborn enough!
"Don't you feel like we're in high school?" I asked.
I had suddenly recalled nights spent just like that Friday night - arms linked with a boy -- only with a crown of flowers in my hair and the remnants of a shared bottle of white zin fueling our skips down a path made of crushed stone.
More than 10 years later: the Soulmate's fingers idly tangling and disentangling in my hair instead of flowers and my lips parting when I spoke, letting out coffee-scented breaths into the soon-to-be autumnal air.
Where did that girl from high school go?
Fun and frolicking gave way to responsibility and reality.
[Side note: I love that this post isn't all about the Soulmate anymore.]
The changing of the seasons thrills me this year, but the changing of the self that happened when I wasn't looking? I'm not so thrilled about that change. I know the freeness of high school days can never completely be regained, nor should it, because student loan bills wait for no woman.
But there are some things I want to bring back.
Skipping. Even if it's only to the loo.
Flower power. It's a lot harder to be bogged down by bullshit when there are yellow daffodils by your side.
Lastly, high school was all about recreating yourself and moving on with nary a look back. There's something to be said for that.
It didn't work out with a boy?
Move along.
It can't work out with the Soulmate?
Move along.
© Coffee Fairy
Love Love love it! :-)
ReplyDeleteI loved this. My ten year reunion is this year and it's sort of creeping me out how much really hasn't changed and how much truly HAS changed. Life is funny.
ReplyDeleteHi Daniela and Annah! Thanks for commenting and for the kind words. Annah, it is definitely funny - if you're going to the reunion, have a wonderful time! If all else, you might get a blog out of it! :)
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